Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in denver's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, September 7th, 2003
10:56 am	self sometimes i wonder how you remember my name (1 turn on | stutter)
Friday, May 30th, 2003
10:29 am	why am i dealing with this feeling? i want things to change but i realize that they won't history repeats itself and people stay the same Current Mood: melancholy (1 turn on | stutter)
Tuesday, February 11th, 2003
9:17 pm	sad but funny //your day is not complete until your baby brother sticks a magnetic game piece up his nose and your grandma has to come and get it out with a screwdriver// Current Mood: full Current Music: gremlins on t.v. yo (stutter)
Sunday, December 15th, 2002
11:49 am	gotta love the holidays what's better then family weekends.....all the other weekends that aren't family ones....so we were supposed to take family x-mas picks at 11...it is now almost 12 and eveyone is angry and irritated.i want to leave but i know they will notice eventually and get even more angry. Current Mood: cranky Current Music: yelling (stutter)
Monday, November 25th, 2002
10:54 am	I WANT: to be happy I REGRET: almost everything i have done I WISH: i could move and start over I LOVE: doing bad things I HATE: who i have become I MISS: my childhood I FEAR: people i love leaving me I SEE: when my eyes are open I HEAR: selectivly I SEARCH: for things i've lost I WONDER: why things are the way they are I KNOW: all WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU... SMILED? when my brother stood up and hit his head on the table...crazy kid DANCED? lastnight GOT HAMMERED? too long ago KISSED SOMEONE? your mom last night HUGGED SOMEONE? this morning HAD A NIGHTMARE? i don't remember LAST THING YOU READ: the mini hot dog heating instructions LAST MOVIE YOU SAW ON THE BIG SCREEN: ghost ship...pretty lame huh? LAST PHONE NUMBER YOU CALLED: the drunk guys cell LAST SHOW YOU WATCHED ON TV: spongebob LAST SONG YOU HEARD: queens on the stone age-no one knows LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK: sweet sweet juice LAST THING YOU ATE: cold fries DO YOU... SMOKE? nopers just 2nd hand SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? yeah scooby and my 1 and only bunny HAVE A CRUSH? yup but i don't think they like me HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND? nope i have a hard time attracting the opp sex HAVE A DREAM THAT KEEPS COMING BACK? yeah i have a couple dreams that keep coming back REMEMBER YOUR FIRST LOVE? yeah well if it was love STILL LOVE HIM/HER? sadly yes READ THE NEWSPAPER? sometimes HAVE ANY GAY OR LESBIAN FRIENDS? yup yup and they always hit on me...u know who u are BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? sometimes BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE TO REMAIN FAITHFUL FOREVER? yeah i guess CONSIDER YOURSELF TOLERANT OF OTHERS? i have a high tolerance level LIKE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL? i don't like the taste i like what it does BELIEVE IN GOD? yes HAVE ANY SECRETS? if i tell u i'll have to kill u HAVE ANY PETS? sure do GO TO OR PLAN TO GO TO UNIVERSITY? hopefully HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? yeah and i want more HAVE ANY TATOOS? nopers HATE YOURSELF? ummm..sometimes..umm...all the time HAVE A BEST FRIEND? yes mama lilaface HAVE ANY BAD HABITS? Yes CARE ABOUT LOOKS? yes i'm shallow, but i don't really give a shit what i look like TRUST OTHERS EASILY? yes i wish i didn't though LIKE SARCASM? yuppers especially when i'm dishing it out TAKE WALKS IN THE RAIN? i love the rain KISS WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED? sometime i peek then i shut them again cause there face is all up in mine SING IN THE SHOWER? heehee yeah HAVE ANY SCARS? yeah damn belly piercing Current Mood: amused Current Music: qotsa (stutter)
Friday, November 8th, 2002
9:22 am	MMmmm......guilt pleasure What Labyrinth Charater are you most like? brought to you by Quizilla *this isn't me. i just wanted a pic of him.....i love him in this movie* Current Mood: relieved (stutter)
Sunday, October 6th, 2002
5:18 pm	eh i want to fall for you but i ask myself will you break my fall i wan't to throw myself at you but i ask again will you try to catch me at all i run from the idea of you but you you chase me down i once loved you but your immaturity I found made me angry i tried to hide from you but you found me out you found me out i'm all about this is all about my reactions to attractions Current Mood: morose Current Music: scooby doo (stutter)
Tuesday, September 17th, 2002
8:15 pm	yeah, i kinda miss it : ( Your Secret Fetish Is BDSM! Tie me up! Tie me down! Whether you're doing the tying, or doing the crying, you love BDSM. For you, love hurts- and sex hurts even more. So make that spanking a little harder. The more you bleed, the more you come. What's *Your* Secret Fetish? Click Here to Find Out! (stutter)
Monday, September 2nd, 2002
10:27 am	BAD: -school starts tom. :( -it's gonna be a 112 degrees 2day :( -i'm babysittin :( -i can't really write what i want in my journal because i don't know who reads it:( -last night was a bust well almost :( GOOD: -we know where the real house is(thanks to brian):) -we found a new spot to chill:) Current Mood: contemplative (1 turn on | stutter)
Thursday, August 29th, 2002
12:41 pm	another bed time story for the kiddies At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story : On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He signed a note to the effect indicating his despondency and intention. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast which passed through a window, resulting in his instantaneous death. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the 8th floor level to protect some building workers, and, therefore, Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned. "Ordinarily," Dr. Mills continued, "A person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the means or mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide. The fact that Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he had been threatening her with a shotgun. The husband was so upset that when he finally pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets exited through their window striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject "A", but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B." When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were stunned and adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention of murdering her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had actually been accidentally loaded. The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the wife had recently cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, decided to load the shotgun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. Now, Dr. Mills offers the exquisite twist to this case. Further investigation ironically revealed that the name of the couple's son was........Ronald Opus. In addition to losinghis "financial" security, he had become even more despondent over the obvious failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. Since the son had actually murdered himself (according to the law), the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide. A true story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt. Current Mood: restless (stutter)
Tuesday, August 27th, 2002
12:14 pm	juice is good Alright i'm uncomfortable with myself, and your put-downs just do not help. the outcome is i feel like shit. don't you know when to quit? and i am not doing alright... i always end up feeling bad. so why don't you get off my back? if i knew that this is what friends were for, i'd never made any. none of this makes sense, they don't support me because they're too busy judging. it's all so unimportant. it makes me feel sorry for them. -osker (stutter)
Sunday, August 25th, 2002
12:44 am	fun are parties yesturday i went to a party, but i won't discuss that one cause everyone that reads my lj was there..i think. today i went to my tia's b-day party. i missed out on christian's cause of it sorry christian :(. it was at a bar and i can't drink...oh well. my tia was so surprised that she started crying. everybody was teary eyed. then my uncle gave a speech and i felt like crying, and then i spilt my soda. my uncle made me shake my ass on the dance floor. i feel sorry for everyone that had to witness that. i hate babysitting...with a passion..it's stupid...if the kids were older it would be ok but these kids still shit their pants and i can't understand a word they say. i feel like i am being held hostage by the little midgets....oh well it is good birth control. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: whiny little voices askin questions and repeting themselves (stutter)
Tuesday, August 20th, 2002
12:26 pm	big breasteses in tight vesteses yesturday night was stellar. there were thrills and chills, danger at every turn, wild animals, strangers lurking about and even some blood. oh yeah we rock...hard...hardcore. today i woke up before the sun came up and stood in line for a long time just for a 5 min. interview. if i don't get the job i'm gonna be pissed yo. (8 turn ons | stutter)
Saturday, August 17th, 2002
10:32 am	i stay up past my bedtime..i don't take my vitamins..whateva whateva i was gonna tell u about yesturday, but i'm lazy and u can go to lila's lj and read it. oh..she forgot to put in the part about returning to the crack house at night and throwing rocks at it. i can't wait until our next adventure. it's gonna be the adventure of green mist also featuring return of the crack house (we are gonna visit the gun welding gang bangers while they sleep) HeRe Is A nIcE bEdTiMe StOrY fOr YoU kidDIES Billy loved Monroe with all his heart. But he never told a single soul. Monroe secretly loved him too. But she thought she would never have a chance with him. Billy asked his friends what they think of her and his friends thought she was gay. They didn't like her at all. So Billy just went along with them. They all made fun of her and made her feel really bad. Monroe was so upset. One day they followed her home from school making fun of her the whole way home. Once she got inside her house she dropped to the floor crying. She had a crush on Billy since 3rd grade. She didn't know what to do. When Billy got home he felt real bad about what he had done. So he decided to go to Monroe's house to tell her he was sorry and that he really loves her. When he got there he knocked on the door no one answered. The door was open so he walked in. He walked into the living room and found Monroe lying dead on the floor. She had slit her wrists. Billy was so upset. He knew it was his fault she killed herself. And now he could never tell her how he really felt. *something to think about* Current Mood: excited Current Music: led zeppelin (1 turn on | stutter)
Tuesday, August 13th, 2002
12:32 pm	Your Emotions Your mommy told you this And your daddy told you Always think like this And never do that You learned so many feelings But what is there to that Which are really yours Or are you just a copycat You're so boring boring boring Always tape machine recording You're so boring boring boring I've heard all this before Planless and mindless Scraps from anywhere Bunch of used parts From garbage pails everywhere Frankenstein became a monster Just like you Your scars only show When someone talks to you You're so boring boring boring.... I've heard all this before Your emotions make you a monster -Words and Music by East Bay Ray Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: sweet home alabama- lynyrd skynyrd (1 turn on | stutter)
Saturday, August 10th, 2002
10:55 am	marrige for the last name What obscure band are you? *oh yeah.....i rock...hardcore...i'm gonna marry julian so i can be mrs. casablancas. then i will divorce him and keep the last name.* Current Mood: sick but feelin better Current Music: nintendo's aladdin game (stutter)
Wednesday, August 7th, 2002
10:29 pm	tastes like prevention the other day i went to the happiest place on earth. my siblings wanted to go to tom sawyer's island and i didn't want to be left alone w/ my uncle( he isn't really my uncle) who acts like we are married so i decided to walk around. i was lookin around and i saw this attractive young man (he was not my type though). he was alone and i wondered if he was gonna meet up with someone so i followed him. i think he knew i was following him but my curiosity kept me at it. he eventually got on a ride and i had to go back to my family. i eventually saw him again and he was still alone. i wanted to follow him again but we had to leave. instead of being a people watcher i follow them. it is more interesting because you can only watch people until they leave but if you follow them you can see more. *lila, christian and i had a dye our hair party and we all look stellar...oh yeah we rock...hardcore..fun fun* i can't wait for the show. i love goin to shows..they are better than sex..well maybe...sometimes... Current Mood: happy Current Music: the living end (1 turn on | stutter)
Sunday, August 4th, 2002
7:01 pm	true friendship placewereubelong: ...hahha>:oshut up !! obesethoughts: no:-D placewereubelong: when im talkin to you ....you best shut up placewereubelong: if you knows whats good fo you obesethoughts: no u didn't.......u got beef cause im the butcher placewereubelong: well then gimme a lb of bitch shut up Current Mood: okay Current Music: t.v. (1 turn on | stutter)
Saturday, August 3rd, 2002
2:02 pm	it's your destiny cause it runs in the family i'm bleeding misery oh, eternal discontent-how consistent the only thing stable in my life is how i try.... to still this beating mind, so that i can finally rest the essence of my character is that i'm unable to be without worrying the words of dead humans seem so much sincere than the half-signed contracts that tend to occupy the open air still this beating mind, so that i can finally rest the essence of my character is that i'm unable to be without worrying -osker Current Mood: stressed Current Music: nirvana- incesticide (1 turn on | stutter)
Tuesday, July 30th, 2002
10:14 pm	update -I keep thinking about how happy i was last year at this time. i should stop doing that. -the play is..well....um...yeah.....a boy put my make-up on and that was such a turn on -people walking out of my life makes me sad -i want to change my hair it's to plain Current Mood: numb Current Music: headache (2 turn ons | stutter)